Volunteer
by Ookami-kohai
Summary: In an attempt to get Light to confess, L drags him to various volunteer places. Madness ensues. Crack!
1. Prologue

L stared at the younger man who was sitting beside him. "Yagami-kun..." Light jumped slightly, startled by the sudden sound. When he regained his composure, he nodded, gesturing for the detective to continue. "I believe you may be Kira..."

Light gaped at him. "Ryuzaki, I am aw-"

"...and I would like to make it 100 percent clear that you are or are not Kira. Therefore, I have signed you up for volunteer services throughout this week. Of course, as there is still a possibility that you are Kira, I can not allow you to go alone. Therefore, I will go with you."

"Ryuzaki, that would take away from the investigation!"

"Do not worry, I have cleared it with the rest of the team." He paused, staring suspiciously at Light. "Or perhaps you do not wish to join me in volunteering... because you are Kira!"

_Damn... so if I don't go I'm Kira? But what if I do go? Will he think that I'm trying too hard to prove that I'm not Kira? This guy..._

"Fine."

* * *

This is just a prologue... so don't flame me for making it so short. Review please?


	2. Skit

The happy giggles of young children echoed through the playground as they frolicked. The fields they played in were not fenced in but no child wandered past the boundaries of the play area. Also, no one approached the kids despite the lack of supervisors. As Kira, Light was proud. This was all thanks to him, the just god of a new world. He had not been purging the world's evils for very long, yet the change in human behavior was already dramatic.

_This is a large one, but it is only the first step. The new world will be a peaceful and just utopia, and I will reign over it as god!_

However, he was aware of the large, sleepless eyes of his enemy watching him carefully. "Ryuzaki, what exactly are we doing here?" he asked. "You seem happy watching the children play Yagami-kun." L noted, evading Light's question. The college student nodded, hiding his irritation with a mask of equanimity. L seemed to accept the answer without questioning it, although that too was a mask.

When they reached the red and black doors of the school, L decided to share the task with Light. "We will perform a skit for the younger children Yagami-kun."

Light gaped.

"A skit?" he demanded skeptically, accidentally letting some of his anger show. "Yes. Are you afraid to perform in front of the children Yagami-kun? I am sure they will not judge you too harshly."

_Dammit! He's trying to get me to react by mocking me. If I retort angrily, he will think I am Kira but if I don't respond or just go along with it, will he think that I am trying too hard to __**not**__ be Kira? Well either way, he can't arrest me for disagreeing. Anyone would take offense to that..._

"Not at all Ryuzaki, it's just that a skit should be prepared beforehand shouldn't it?"

L stuck his thumb in his mouth and nibbled on the nail thoughtfully. "I suppose that would be another way to do it... but unfortunately, we do not have the luxury of a time machine. Let's just play by ear." Light sighed. "I don't think we have another option Ryuzaki."

* * *

"What should we do?" Light whispered out of the corner of his mouth, trying his best to not freak out and kill L with his bare hands. However, the detective seemed to take the urgent sentence as a part of the act and replied very loudly: "Ah, but weren't you going to sing and dance Fwee-Fwi?" The children watched them with much the same excitement of a greedy brat on Christmas morning, except these eyes were far more innocent and in that, far harder to dissapoint. Biting his tongue, Light began a sloppy dance.

_Damn you._

Halfway through, L began singing some song about a pretty dancing lady, which much to his embarrasment, referred to Light. "Why don't you spin Fwee-Fwi?"

_So now the bastard has a French accent?_

"I know what a pirouette is do a pirouette Fwee-Fwi-san!" A small girl chirped out, smiling broadly. Light attempted the spin with the affect of knocking over a floor lamp and breaking it. Some of the children giggled, thinking that it was a part of the performance but many of them started crying. L walked over to him and helped him up and they continued the skit without knocking anything else over.

When they finally finished, they were greeted with silence. The teacher, who had five children crying into her dress, walked over to them, face flushed red with anger. "Thank you; goodbye." she growled very pointedly.

As they walked back to the car, L turned to Light. "I think that went very well."


	3. Pride

"How did it go Ryuzaki, Light?" Yagami Soichiro asked when the two walked through the door. At the reminder of his public humiliation, anger bubbled up inside of him. "It went okay, Dad. I don't think the teacher appreciated it very much though. When L nodded in affirmation, Soichiro breathed a sigh of relief.

"So is the suspicion on my son cleared Ryuzaki?" L placed his thumb in his mouth and nibbled on the nail thoughtfully. His eyes, Light noticed with annoyance, never close. Satisfaction followed as he realized that he would be the one to close them in eternal sleep. A smirk sneaked into his expression. Evading the question, L turned to Light curiously. "What is so amusing?" Quickly, he changed his smirk into a smile. "I was just remembering the little girl from the school Ryuzaki. Children are very enthusiastic." The unnamed detective nodded, his thumb still resting on his lower lip. "I agree Yagami-kun, childhood is a wonderful stage of life."

Behind them, Soichiro cleared his throat expectantly. "No Yagami-san.", L murmured, turning to face the older man, "Unfortunately, there is still a possibility that your son is Kira."

"But you said that this was to prove Light's innocence!" Matsuda interjected, confused and annoyed. "One activity is not enough to draw accurate conclusions." L replied. Matsuda sat down again, making a face. "You've got a point..." he admitted. "When are you going to do something else?"

Light looked up, eager to hear the detective's response.

"In an hour."

* * *

The streets were filled with rainbow colored balloons, rainbow colored flags, rainbow colored floats, rainbow colored vehicles, and partially naked men. Eyes widening with shock, Light felt the overpowering need to run and hide. Maybe vomit too, but that would come later.

"What the hell is this Ryuzaki?" he demanded, refusing to believe the obvious answer that was blaring in his head. L turned to the young man with innocent eyes. "It's a parade Yagami-kun." he explained matter-of-factly. Light blanched. "It's a GAY PRIDE parade Ryuzaki!" L nodded as though he saw nothing wrong with their location. "I'm not gay." he growled, his tone becoming more murderous by the second. "Neither am I." L replied, shrugging. Light twitched, taking a moment to calm himself down.

"I fail to see how this is volunteer work." A shirtless man ran past them. His pants, Light noticed with fear were tight and colorful. "A greater number would surely help their cause. Is Yagami-kun a homophobe? We don't have to do this if it is making you uncomfortable." Light twitched again at how the last sentence could be misconstrued.

Although he was uncomfortable, to the highest degree of the word, Light wasn't one to back down. "No, it's alright."

The two slipped on colorful shirts and walked alongside the others.... hand in hand.

* * *

A/N: Okay... that seriously didn't turn out like I planned it. If anyone finds this chappy offensive, sorry luvs, I don't mean it to be.

I didn't update this sooner because no one seems to care anyways. (And yes I did use you guys as an excuse for my laziness) Maybe if I got good feedback, I'd be more enthused about writing this. HINT HINT!


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